When love comes short, the making of a relationship is a challenge if you want to last in any romantic relationship.
Many of us think that the most challenging thing in a relationship is finding the right person. We fall in love in the process and live happily ever after, right?
Well…Surprise…Think again… It Is not that easy. Those in a relationship know all too well that fairy tales are only in Hollywood movies.
The truth of the matter is that the making of a relationship when love comes short, especially romantically between spouses, is not easy, and as you may know, life is tough.
The divorce rate tells us that love is not enough and often loves short because other factors are needed to keep a vibrant relationship alive.
At this time, I genuinely do not want to mislead anyone; love is vital to a relationship, but as life has delivered me another lesson, love is not enough by its self, and it does come short at times.
Love is the catalyst that sets everything in motion, but the following are key ingredients that can keep the love alive and the relationship healthy for years.
Please note that the list has no particular sequence or ranking from high to low.
* COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT!
The ability to tell each other thoughts, feelings, and wants is essential to a relationship to build trust over the years.
People are no mind readers, and for a relationship to grow and prosper with all the likes, dislikes, desires, hopes, dreams, and problems need to be said correctly. If a couple’s communication is restricted or full of insecurities, the relationship most probably is destined for major problems down the road.
* BEING ABLE TO CHANGE IS KEY!
Relationships are not static, so the ability to change is essential, especially in today’s world.
Relationships go through a life cycle from First being married, having children, being divorce (sorry), married again, more children (wow), and for some, even more stages. However, all of these stages require change, learning, and exploration of new ways if you are going to last and succeed in another relationship.
* BOTH BEING MATURE ADULTS!
A mature individual is classified as a person who has a sense of self and worth. Insecurity will kill any relationship over time.
He/she can recognize that both members in the relationship are different and can see that each has a diverse heritage (culture), another way of thinking, feeling, and possibly different beliefs. The mature person can recognize the I, Me, and we in the relationship with all the differences in personalities, thoughts, and feelings.
* ABILITY TO COMPROMISE!
Finding the happy middle can provide both worlds’ best, which is in the giving and receiving. The ability to compromise refers to an individual’s willingness and proficiency at finding the middle ground with proper communication.
Being able to compromise is a sign of maturity. It is also needed in any relationship. If one person always gets his/her way, the other person is bound to feel dominated and resentful.
These negative feelings can rip the heart right out of any relationship.
* WILLINGNESS TO WORK TOGETHER!
If you have not noticed, a relationship is like a business partnership; it has common goals, assets, and liabilities. Like in a business, if members don’t work together, they will become ineffective and possibly not exist for too long.
The ability to work together means recognizing each person’s strengths and helping them come out at the same time identifying each member’s weaknesses and learning to turn weaknesses into assets in a joint effort.
* SUPPORT AND TRUST!
One of the benefits of a relationship is that we will have someone in our corner to support us and affirm our existence. This support adds to the trust that is needed in any relationship. Without mutual support, a trusting relationship will not develop. Each member must have its emotional needs met to continue to invest in the relationship.
* LOVEMAKING, HUGS, AND KISSES!
The open expression of feeling in any relationship is vital to the relationship’s continued growth, and that obviously includes lovemaking, hugs, and kisses.
Lovemaking should not be overlooked in a relationship, but it need not be the only ingredient in a relationship. Coupling is the icing on the cake, and it gets there by mixing all of the elements mentioned above.
I will end by writing the following, perhaps love starts the relationship, but it’s the commitment in the relationship that sustains it.
In the past and recently, I have heard and seen people say all the right words, make all the right moves, and pledge undying love, only to walk away in weeks, months, or in the first two years of the relationship.
Were they in love? Sure they were but not enough to allow them to hold firm in their love. Love was not enough to keep the relationship regardless of the growing pain. Why? It is so simple it is scary…no commitment.
There can be no doubting that the most significant test of true love is commitment.
Love is just the cherry on top of the cake called “commitment” to make a relationship alive and worthy.
This writing comes as a living testament that the use of key ingredients mentioned above is vital in making a relationship when somehow love is not enough or just came short of the mark.
In today’s world, so much attention and focus are misplaced in trivial things, many times couples will be confused by the choices they have made and become lost.
So the making of a relationship when love comes short is a difficult topic to understand, digest and even accept. Thank you to my many readers that have encouraged me to write about this subject; however, it may be a while before I do it again.
As always wish you all the very best life has to offer.
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To your success
Your Coach Lionel Sanabria